You
don't call me Smeagol! My surname is Smeagov! >:P
Hi, present and
futures forest workers, with or without university degree, or simply
curious by the forest (well, from now on, is better I call you of
forest people)! Is everything cool? Yes? Great, that's what it takes!
>B-D
Welcome at Forest
Monsters, the blog that makes known to you monsters that haunt
certain areas, and also serves as a guide to observation of these
beasts! ;D
And now, is opening
for you a magical and fabulous world – the forest! Ah, the forest!
Yes, the forest! It's a place full of riches: oxygen we breathe,
carbon sequestration to not stifle, rainwater
that is intercepted by the vegetation to, then, evapotranspirate or
infiltrate in the soil (thus continuing the water cycle), wild
beauties to admire and preserve, hunting pieces, cork, honey,
mushrooms (not poisonous, naturally [unless you want kick the bucket,
have a new liver or contact with beings from other dimensions – you
understand]!), wood (TIMBER!), strawberry tree berries (hum... An
Aguardente de Medronhos now would be nice, one of those very
strong!)... Riches, a panoply of riches of formidable treasure that
is the forest!! But the forest, and their treatment, not always
is a bed of roses: wildfires,
garbage in the woods, furtive hunting, harmful fungi for the trees,
forest pests, invasive plant species... Ah – but my big head, as I
almost forgot them?! – and also Forest Monsters!! B|
Huh?! What
I'm here gabbling, you ask? And who am I? You don't know me? O.o
Oh,
excuse me, I didn't noticed it yet! Well, I'll introduce myself right
now! ;-P
My
name is Luchshiy Smeagov. Nice to meet you, and you are called......
What?! >:O
I
heard right? Did you said Smeagol? Did you called me Smeagol?!
SMEAGOL?!? SME... STAB!!! I HATE
when people call me Smeagol!! I get seriously furious when I'm call
that! Hence, please, do call me Smeagov, which is my correct surname,
and not Smeagol, understood? >:(
Well,
where were we? Ah! I came from Russia, where I graduated in Physics
at the Lomonosov Moscow
State University, and I was
a Physics teacher for engineering
students there. But I was
sick of putting up with drunk students and the «healthy and
delicious» food of canteen! So, I decided change of life: I resigned
my job, I packed my things, and I got out from Russia to go in search
of a new life. After many
adventures and adventures (and also misadventures [lol]!), I arrived
in this «Garden Planted at the Seaside»: a not very big, but
magnificent place with multiple types of vegetal/arboreal coverage...
And also where people which don't know of anywhere smile each other
and comment any subject (however banal it is) just like that
(especially the elder staff) – ok, I confess that at first I
considered this behavior very creepy, but however I no longer care
about that, incidentally, I even do this often (unfortunately, it's a
pity that is not always I am well understood, especially by women
[lol])! Satisfied
with what I found, I decided to settle me down around here, and I
started a business of harvest and peddling of snails (look, other
good example of forest riche: snails [lol]!), traversing the country
from end to end. Well, this bussiness has his days: some days I sell
many snails, other days I don't sell much... Do you not want to buy
snails? Take advantage now, I do a discount for you! You there, you
don't like snails? Come on, this snails are – cof, cof! – very
tasty! >B-D
Then,
to enter in certain woods – sometimes
to catch snails, other times to do the nature of the cal...
Ehm, to do something necessary! – I found out I was not alone. No,
it wasn't no pervert spying on me (lol!)... They were Forest
Monsters! Yes, they were right!! >:-P
…
:\
Yup?
What is the doubt now? :S
What?!
Don't you know what are Forest Monsters!? Really?! It cannot be!! But
how is this possible?! How you can be forest workers or simply
interested in the forest without ever having heard in Forest
Monsters?!? :O
Hum...
To tell the truth, it's natural that you do not know Forest Monsters.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?), they are still unknown to most
people! :(
But
don't worry, I explain what are Forest Monsters right now! >B-D
Forest
Monsters are fearsome creatures swarming by the woods of a bit by all
over the country. Where and/or how these creatures appeared in
certain sites? This still not clear. But that if they inhabit in
certain forest areas, often, for some reason will be, you can be sure
of that! And more: they came to stay! Unless resolved the situation
that makes them to be where they are, they not only don't leave so
early of the forests they call homelands, as they can be a big hassle
for the unlucky of whom intersecting with them or have them as
neighbors! They are in a forest near you, ready to attack you ...
that is, to surprise you (and that surprise [lol])! Don't you believe
in their existence? Do you think they are both myths, rumors or
something coming from the delirious imagination of a college student
who hasn't nothing else to do in his free time (lol!)? No! You are
sadly mistaken! They exist, yes sir! There are reports of people who
have had encounters (some of first grade – seriously! And look
that's no joke!) with these scary creatures! >;-)
How
do I'm sure of what I'm writing? Guys, you are thinking I'm crazy, or
even liar (I already warned that they exist, but it seems that still
are somewhat skeptical!)? For your information, I dedicate my free
time at silvidinozoology, my favorite activity. How? Don't you know
what is silvidinozoology? Well, I should have foreseen this.
Silvidinozoology is the science that studies Forest Monsters –
science invented by me, to be recorded! For you are knowing that I am
the best silvidinozoologist (ok, I confess: I also am the only for
now, but I invite anyone who wants for be my colleague in this
hobby!), I am the world expert in these
creatures, given that I walked traveling by the woods from
north to south (and also from east to west) of the country in search
of those creatures (while I was catching and I was peddling snails
[lol]!;) I had sucked the blood of my ear, I almost went hanged,
etc... But it was worth it: all available silvidinozoological
information was collected and can be found throughout this blog! In
summary, in my humble opinion, I, Luchshiy Smeagov, or rather, Prof.
Luchshiy Smeagov, am the SUPREME Florest Monsters expert! >B-D
And...
>:\
No, I didn't hear that!! What did you say?! SMEAGOL?!?
SME... STAB!!! Look, man, do you seeing this knife?! I already used
this knife to kill brown bears in Siberia, my homeland!! The next
time you call me Smeagol, or anyone of you, I paunch you like a bear,
you heard?! My surname is Smeagov, don't Smeagol, I hate being called
Smeagol!! X(
Well,
continuing... In this blog, you can access all information about each
of the creatures studied by silvidinozoology (the reason by which
this blog have been created): what they are, where they live, what is
their food, what's their favorite TV show, why soccer club they
twist, etc - all mostly written in the form of legend, of those that
are collected in books. In principle, all the nights of Saturday to
Sunday* I will post a new total information about a Forest Monster.
Besides, now I propose to you the following: Why don't you raise the
ass where you sit and do a safari? Yes, a silvidinozoological safari
by public, private and community forests for you be face to face with
these unbelievable creature. I
know that dealing with them is far from a picnic, but don't fear: are
also included in the file of each creature instructions and
precautions that I give to you follow and, thus, you don't have any
problem with any of them! You will see that, at study closely these
fascinating creatures, you also will learn, and much, problems and
dynamics of forest - Luchshiy Smeagov's word of honor, or rather,
Prof. Luchshiy Smeagov's word of honor! ;)
Again!?
SMEAGOL?!? SME... STAB!!! PLEASE, don't call me Smeagol!! Sheesh, but
will be so difficult pronounce Smeagov?! -.-'
Anyway,
do you want to find out about Forest Monsters? If so, I wish you a
great and funny readings in this blog! See you later, my forest
people! >;D
*
In the time zone of the
Prime Meridian